my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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