I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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