we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
