gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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