i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
