break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Buhtt sex?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
