Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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