We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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