Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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