You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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