I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
