around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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