We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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