Nicole vs. Life
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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