Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
