words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
