Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I faked an abortion last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
