WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
