Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.