I want to have your abortion
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.