oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
