So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
