you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
