if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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