dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
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