well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
