These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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