I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
