Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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