Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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