A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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