This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
