i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the condom got lost in my hair
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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