just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
false alarm. still invincible.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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