I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
