She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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