Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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