Whod you bang
Dual....:-)
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
