I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize