she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
