Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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