I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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