my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
