I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
