I'm drive I can fine osifer
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I did not marry a roomba.
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