I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
