belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
