if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
