And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
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I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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