just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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