I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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