Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
