dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
