I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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