Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
