I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
