I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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