I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
