if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
