Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
