so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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