so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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