Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
