Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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