Where did you get a picture of my penis
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
