your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
