I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i think my mom watched the whole time
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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