What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
