i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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